I write to you now as a survivor.

We were without internet in our home for almost 2 weeks.

I won't regale you with the how and why. Suffice to say, I calculated that I spent about 5 hours on the phone: ordering, cancelling, double checking and confirming dates, calling to find out why technicians never showed up to their doubled-checked and confirmed dates, etc.

When I call customer service lines, I do my best to adopt an attitude of friendliness and empathy with the person on the other end of the line, cause I think you get more flies with honey and If I can make the day of the person in the cubicle a little funnier they might go the extra mile to help me out and maybe we both benefit in the deal

But If I'm losing an hour of my life to muzak on the omniscient time table of a corporate help-line, I'm going to get some kind of payment in the deal, so I do two things while waiting on hold: I settle in to lose at least an hour of my life, and I start writing material.

To me, calling a support line is equal parts meditation, stand-up comedy routine, and Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Here's a couple of the more entertaining bits of dialogue I tried to ply favor with (and in full disclosure none of it helped, so maybe I ought to rethink my strategy....)

Do you hear that howling in the background? That is 2 teenage girls, my daughters. They're hungry Brian, and they subsist almost entirely on a diet of Instagram and reruns of Pretty Little Liars. We have a delicate emotional ecology at work here Brian, and if, in this internet-less vacuum, I have to sit around a dinner table and actually TALK to them, I'll hold you personally responsible for the bloodbath.

Listen, Grace in Reno, I'm sorry to be difficult. I know this isn't your fault. I know that when I call this number, I am going to speak to a randomly chosen appendage of the corporate person that is AT&T. I just can't understand why the appendage I always seem to get on the phone is a middle finger, or worse, without benefit of dinner and breakfast. So let's change that. Instead, I need you to be a giant foam finger, the kind that says on the front "The customer is #1". I need you to wave that foam finger Grace, and get me a U-Verse install date sometime before the end of Obama's presidency.


I know it's been a while since I've sent one of these. There's no set schedule but after a few weeks, I start to feel the pull. My job with the city has kept me pretty busy lately.

In terms of art, I've been working on a new game called The Worst Game Ever. It was a pretty successful kickstarter from Gorilla Games, the makers of Monster Derby, which I did the art for as well.

WGE requires 100 cards to be made, each with original art. I'm about half way through them and here are 9 of the more interesting (the phone illustration above makes it 10.)

Some of them don't make much sense without the context of the card info, but I like the pictures anyway (the filenames hep context, if you open them up in a browser)  Anyway, I hope you enjoy them!


I hope you're all well, and thanks for reading. I started another piece for this newsletter this week, and I've got some new drawings I might send out, so hopefully there won't be such a long stretch of silence before the next one.

As always feel free to let me know your thoughts or anything that you're working on!